How Teachers and Parents Work Together for Student Success

By Edward Graham

Susan TerLouw takes a proactive approach to fostering collaboration with her students’ parents.

“I have found texting to be an amazing way to get connected with parents,” says the high school special education teacher. “After not having calls returned, I tried texting and got immediate responses.”

Texting parents allows TerLouw to update them on their child’s progress before waiting for an issue to arise. It’s quick and easy, and TerLouw says the constant flow of contact with parents has done wonders for her own parent-teacher relationships.

“I have been able to move past it to actual conversations, face-to-face meetings, and a trusting relationship.”

It’s that communication and trust that are key to fostering student success, yet connecting with parents still remains a challenge for many educators. Fortunately, savvy teachers are always discovering ways of creating meaningful parent-teacher relationships, from opening a clear channel of communication with their household to drawing parents into the school community through events and programs.

Focus on the Positive

Middle school teacher Maxine Taylor says that a great way to build a successful parent-teacher relationship is to contact parents before there’s a problem.

“I call or email parents whenever a student does a particularly nice job or has been exceptionally helpful in class,” she says.

The extra effort only takes her a few minutes and does wonders for her relationship with parents. By focusing on their child’s successes, Taylor is able to equate parental interaction with positive news, ensuring that parents will be more willing to hear her out when there’s an issue.

“It helps the parents not cringe when we come into contact because they don’t just expect to hear bad things.”

Jenna Bower, a middle school teacher who’s in her first year teaching, also stresses the positives with the negatives when it comes to contacting parents.

“As a new teacher I’ve begun sending out ‘HI-LO’ notes on my students’ homework packets,” Bower says. “The weekly note begins with ‘Your Student’s Success,’ and I include two things in this section. The next section is ‘Still Working On,’ and one item goes here.”

By emphasizing successes, Bower is able to get students to willingly share their school experiences with their parents.

“The best part is I have the students read to their parents, so they get to share their successes with parents,” says Bower. “Many times the parents send it back with a thank you note attached. I send out 30 notes a week and it only adds 20 minutes to my Tuesday evenings.”

Share School Experiences

“How was school today?”


Too often, this is the extent of the conversation students have with their parents about school, so parents love it when teachers go out of their way to fill in the missing experiences.

“In order to keep parents current on classroom milestones, activities and events, and to meet the technology goals of my students, I have my students create a classroom newspaper,” says high school special education teacher Heather Vanover says. “It consists of topics such as sports schedules, upcoming events like picture day and prom, school news, and classroom topics.”

And, because students write the columns and help produce the newspaper, Vanover doesn’t have to spend much time working on it outside the classroom. She says it’s a successful way to show off students’ skills while keeping parents up-to-date on school happenings.

“Each edition has my contact information and a current report of any classroom issues or rewards. It’s a fun way to communicate with parents and publish students’ writing.”

Kindergarten teacher Martha Richardson uses disposable cameras (yes, they still exist!) to share experiences with parents.

“I have my kids bring in a disposable camera with their school supplies,” Richardson says. “I snap special moments that happen during the school year (things that parents miss). When it’s filled, I send it home. Parents can have it developed and send in another if they wish. It’s a great way to capture school experiences.”

Find Common Ground

If you show a willingness to learn more about your students from their parents, then they’ll be more willing to work with you throughout the school year. Show an interest in them, and they’ll return the favor.

Mellanay Auman, a middle school language arts teacher, uses the beginning of the year to get to know both parent and student better.

“The first week of school, I send home a fill-in-the-blank letter in English and Spanish for the parents to write to me about their son/daughter,” says Auman. “They get a chance to tell me about what they want their child to accomplish in my class, and about their child’s strengths, hobbies and interests.”

Since you’re asking the parents for input about their children—treating them as partners—they’ll be more willing to communicate with you throughout the year.

“The parents love bragging about their child, and this letter opens the lines of communication for the rest of the year.”

Many educators even find it helpful to include students in parent conferences.

L. Cavel Wilson, a middle school geography teacher, says that parents often bring their child with them to school conferences, so Wilson uses the opportunity to have the student discuss their class behavior and performance.

“During the conference, I ask the student direct questions, leading him to explain to his own parents what he is doing in the class,” Wilson says. “This takes the focus off teaching styles, content, or even communication issues and puts it squarely on the shoulders of the student, who has ultimate responsibility for his own success.”

And, more often than not, Wilson says the approach allows him to find some common ground with the parents.

“Unless there is a major behavioral problem or a moral issue at stake, you should be able to find common ground with parents — if nothing else, there is always your concern and caring for their child and your desire to help him succeed in your class and in life.”

Consider the Parent’s Perspective

If all else fails, sometimes the best approach is to offer parents the option of meeting with you in their home. Not only will most parents appreciate the effort, but you might even learn a bit more about the lives of your students and their families.

“Home visits are the best thing I ever did,” says high school teacher Kathy Dowd. “I am humbled by how hard our families work, and how little they have to show for it. It makes me realize why involvement is so hard for so many of them.”

When it comes to interacting and working with parents, always consider how you would respond in their situation. Understanding is one of the keys to unlocking a successful relationship with your students’ parents.

“Think of every kid as if they were your own child,” teacher Tanya Wilson-Smith says. “What would you want for your child if he or she were facing a particular situation? Every parent loves their child, but not every parent knows how to be a parent. Be gentle, be caring, be honest, but do what you do best and educate the parent too.”

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  • gil patchett

    I offer some thoughts for getting our children more
    involved with their future, and also, to help to slow the rate of Global
    Warming. This program can add meaning to each of their lives.

    This program has many features, not the least
    of which is to Reduce Global Warming. Our youth need more than just
    learning the 3-R’s.

    We need to do much more than to merely teach
    academics. We need to build character for the citizens of tomorrow. Your
    comments and questions are solicited on this program, briefly described


    Gil Patchett.


    More resources need to be directed to
    the early teaching of our children. We need to Teach Smarter also. … Teach what is more
    relevant to their world, and how they can get involved.

    Children can save the Earth when
    properly coached and guided. Start early to show them how they can contribute in
    simple and easy ways. They can help to save energy and resources and to become
    less dependent upon materialism. This can add meaning to their young lives and
    great dividends later on. This is but one way they can learn to take charge of
    their own destiny.

    Proper foundations, formed early, will facilitate their
    mental development, leading
    to more mature adults with self-knowledge and purpose, and to a healthier

    This new generation will help to
    create a new leadership for a balanced and sustainable life on Earth. It will
    not be an easy path and may take many generations to achieve. Starting the
    process soon is most important. … It can be their 50-Year

    Clearly, all of the wise words and creative ideas exchanged in our
    intellectual circles are not enough to slow down our global warming. Nor do they
    solve our political problems. Only a more enlightened generation of voters can
    effect positive changes.




    Everyone can add
    meaning to their own lives


    SOME EXAMPLES: … (To Get

    1. Recycle everything possible. … ‘Waste
    not, want not.’

    2. Live frugally within your means (We
    are more than just ‘consumers’).

    3. Reduce materialism to a minimum
    (Become a minimalist).

    4. Use a bicycle. It leaves a smaller Carbon

    5. Live close to your school or work

    6. Walk more (avoid short car

    7. Reduce uses of gas, oil, electricity.
    Turn off lights.

    8. Wear heavier clothes in winter time.
    Lower room temp.

    9. Turn off furnace pilot lights in
    summer and fall.

    10. Develop your mind, your spirit and
    closer relationships.

    11. Embrace “Reverence for Life” (Study
    Albert Schweitzer).

    12. Care for the less

    13. Vote regularly (it gets the
    politicians attention).

    14. Live better now by taking the best
    from the past and the best from the modern times.

    Gil Patchett, Naturalist and Author.